Walking into a child's mind is not based on suspicion or surveillance, but on communication.
communication with adults, is the special spiritual needs of today's children, especially the only child. They grew up in the "adult world", the "personal family" of families. They longed to be respected, trusted, understood, more eager to communicate with their parents and to establish a partnership with their parents. But parents often do not understand their children's hearts. They are very surprised: "I want to give you what you want. What else do you want?" Over time, children eager to close the door of communication, and some even never open.
if you want to enter the children's mind, you must rely on communication. Good communication can enable us to establish good interpersonal relationships in our family. Conversely, bad communication will destroy this relationship.
in a recently concluded lecture, I had not stepped down, surrounded by parents and children. A more than 50 year old man opened the crowd and came to me. He said to me in tears, "give me a little time. I'll bring my son to see you." It turned out that the night before, he first hit his son for his son to go home in the middle of the night, and the broom interrupted, but his son would rather endure the pain and never say where he had gone.
looking at the haggard and tearful man of my age, I have no reason to meet his demands, although my schedule is very tight. We arranged to meet his son from 5:30 to 6 in the afternoon.
5:30, his family came, everyone was tearful. The two couple brought their son to my room and went out.
this is a fat boy. He looked childish and sat on the sofa opposite me with his hands on his face. It looked like my son.
"where did you go last night to make your father so worried?" I asked in a straight whisper.
"go to the Internet bar." The boy told me the truth, "yesterday was Saturday, I had an appointment with a male classmate at 5:30 to meet at the intersection, to play together, but he lost his appointment, did not come, I was alone, and went to the Internet bar."
"Internet cafe environment is not very suitable for middle school students, there are some things that do not have a good influence on you." I'm afraid to say it.
"I'm not interested in anything else. I mainly play games to tackle problems, so I can catch up with my classmates. The boy's confession made me sympathize with him. Yeah, which boy doesn't want to show himself in front of his classmates?
"but I played and forgot about the time. I played for five hours, and it was 1 o'clock at night." The boy talked about the night before, and I listened quietly. "I was very scared. I walked home with my head on my head. I didn't dare go in. I ran to HeBian Railway Station for a long time and finally went back."
"how about going home?"
"my dad has been looking for me for hours outside, and has just returned home. He was anxious and angry, and asked me what I had done. I said I went to the classmate's house. My dad picked up the broom and hit me hard.
"was that Dad hitting you for the first time?"
"yes."
"listen to your father, broom is interrupted. It must be very painful. Where is it? ' I asked with concern. It seemed that my son had been beaten.
"in the middle of the thighs and the buttocks. There's nothing wrong with it. It's just the first time I saw my dad so worried. I was very sad. " The boy said, he put his hand over his face and burst into tears. I hurried to give him a towel, but I didn't know what was going on, and my tears were coming out - I didn't care about it. What a kind child!