(the text is the name of the parties) source mass network - Volkswagen daily
Tang Chuncheng / comic reading tips for a few days to get married, a quarrel to break up. This phenomenon of "flash marriage" and "flash away" appear more and more among young people and become a unique social phenomenon.
according to the figures released by the Civil Affairs Department, in 2010, the Civil Affairs Department of Ji'nan handled 11715 divorce procedures, with an average of 32 couples breaking up every day. Among them, especially young people "flash away" is the most attracting concern. The phenomenon of "flash away" and "flash marriage" has become a hot topic of social concern.
what causes young people to "flash marriage" and "flashing"? What is the phenomenon of young people's marriage? What is the effect of this phenomenon on the society?
the reporter Wu Yunbo
the correspondent Liu Ke
"flicker" following the feeling
not long ago, a divorce case was heard in the Ji'nan district court, which surprised the judge: Zhao Liang and girlfriend Wang Xiang knew for only 3 days and went to register and marry. In the morning, even the parents of both parents did not know. In the afternoon, two people began to discuss how to prepare the wedding. One should think that the wedding should be bright and bright. The other thinks that if you are happy, you will be too tired. There are still some details of the wedding, and the two can not reach an agreement. Neither of the two young men would give in, and the last two agreed: divorce. The negotiations failed, and the agreement was divorced. Finally, both of them came to the court.
the judge patiently spoke to two people about the meaning of marriage, and persuaded two people to cherish their marriage and not to be so hasty. But the attitude of the two people is very resolute and must be divorced. The judge asked them why they were "flash marriage" and "flash away". The answer of the two men was very consistent: "there is no reason why they should follow the feeling." This surprised the trial judge.
Wang Gang, 22, who met Li Yan, a 22 year old girl in Hebei, fell in love at first sight and confirmed the relationship between men and women. After more than four months' engagement, the two sides talked about marriage. So two people and their parents began to prepare for the wedding. The Wang Gang family sent their invitations everywhere, hoping that the wedding would be bustling. Who knows, three days before the wedding ceremony, Li Yan was angry because of trifles, and suddenly disappeared. Only in the drama can we see this scene, in real life even more extraordinary. Finally, Wang Gang appealed to the court, and Li Yan did not appear to court. The court decided that two people were divorced.
through the analysis of a large number of divorce cases, Qi Wenbo, the president of the three tribunal of the lower court, believes that with the development of the society, the marriage concept of some young people has changed greatly. Some young people do not regard marriage as a serious matter. They even feel that marriage is for fun. The time of marriage is short, the foundation of feelings is weak or even the mutual understanding of each other.
Li Bingjin, vice president of the three tribunals who have tried hundreds of divorce cases, examines the "flicker" from another perspective: the only child, especially the "post-80s" young man, is a baby in the family, a baby's pimple, a personality, a lack of tolerance and patience. This is the soft rib of the "post - 1980s" marriage. Many young people are "flashing away" because they can not tolerate each other's shortcomings. In particular, some children who are pampered by their parents will not be able to get along with their loved ones by their own nature. They will not adjust themselves and forgive each other after the contradiction, which leads to the increase of contradictions between the two sides, and eventually becomes irreconcilable.
parent intervention is also a pushing hand
Xu Rong of provincial capital married Chen Hua who stayed overseas. One morning, Chen Hua found Xu Rong walking close to a strange man on the way. Chen Hua was so jealous that he did not ask the truth. He ran to Xu Rong for two slap. It turned out to be a misunderstanding. The man was a colleague of Xu Rong, and two people came together at work. When Chen Hua learned the truth, he regretted it very much and apologized to Xu Rong again and again.
this misunderstanding has almost been eliminated. Xu Rong has forgiven Chen Hua. A few days later, Xu Rong went back to her mother's home and told her parents about it. When her mother heard it, she was furious at once. How did she get such grievances? Chen Hua felt that he had sincerely apologized and how to ask for a crime. In the end, a misunderstanding triggered a marriage crisis. The two sides eventually broke into divorce and entered the court to divide their property.
Tan Shujie, a judge of the three tribunals of the district court, said that according to the statistics, the divorce of young people, especially the "flicker" of less than one year of the marriage period, has the influence of the majority of the parents. These divorce cases were attended almost exclusively by parents and participants. In some cases, the children were prepared to be reconciled, but due to the excessive interference between the parents of the two parties, there were many differences in their children's rearing and property division, which resulted in the inability to mediate the escalation and ultimately only divorce. Even in other cases, only because a friend says, "your temperament is too bad," the party will get divorced.
Tan Shujie believes that parents are distressed by their children and fear that their children will be wronged. But one or both parents' excessive involvement in their children's marital life and their children's demands often affect their normal marriage. In particular, some things are often "on the line", the complex, the invisible marriage of children on the way, objectively becoming the "push" of the divorce lawsuit.
Qi Wenbo analysis said that the phenomenon of "flash marriage" and "flashing", in addition to the subjective opening of the concept of young people, poor self-management ability and external intervention, is objectively related to the marriage concept of the whole society. In the past, people felt that divorce was a very dishonorable thing, and now the society is more tolerant of divorce. Moreover, in line with this, the divorce procedure has been greatly simplified. In the past, it took a time to get married or divorce, or to send a letter of introduction through a unit, or to submit an application first. Nowadays, marriage and divorce do not require a letter of introduction from the unit, which can be completed in 20 minutes.
for the "flash marriage" and "flashing" phenomenon, the citizen Xiao Han believes that this is related to the modern and open marriage concept, which reflects the progressive marriage view of the modern youth to a certain extent. It is a social progress and can not be denied blindly. She said that one of her friends was "flash marriage". After more than two years, she still had good feelings. A friend who goes through a long love run will enter the marriage hall, but the feeling is no better than the flash marriage. Of course, "flashing" is more normal, without feelings, what do you do?
in the media work, it is "a typical manifestation of being irresponsible to oneself, not responsible for others, and lack of sense of responsibility". In this way, once regret comes, it will not only bring harm to oneself, but also bring trouble to the family, and it is also a kind of harm to others.
".Quot"; "flash marriage.Quot"; ".Quot"; "flash away from.Quot"; as fashion, I do not feel right. Because marriage is not a game after all. It involves two people's feelings and involves two families. Li Bingjin believes that freedom of marriage is a great progress of society and a requirement of the development of the times. But marriage is considered dispensable or very casual. If marriage is as simple as making friends, it will not only blaspheme its beautiful feelings, but also bring chaos to the whole society's marriage order.