Can not stand parents 24 hours "love" 18 year old guy ran away from home.
Chongqing morning newspaper reporter Jing ran
recently, 18 year old gang Zhou Jia (the pseudonym) because of unbearable parents' 24 hours of "love" "Go away from home. After knowing that his son left home, the parents had no idea what had happened, and insisted that they had a good relationship with their son.
when the police found Zhou Jia, he was known to be arranged by his family to work around his mother. His work was often criticized by his mother, sometimes even beaten.
parent:
son away! Why?
"my son doesn't know where to go. Help me find it! " On the 16 evening of this month, around 9 o'clock in the evening, the Kowloon Hill District police station has received a report from a couple in the district. He said his 18 year old son, Zhou Jia, had been paid the day, and the phone could not be connected until now, and they were very worried about the safety of the children.
this situation makes the police feel that it is likely that there is a contradiction between Xiao Jia and his family, which leads to the loss of money after he gets paid.
"it's impossible to leave. We have a good relationship with our son, and our son is very good. It won't be like this." When the policeman inquired about the emotional life of the couple and his son, both husband and wife affirmatively expressed that they had a good relationship with their son, and the son was very obedient, and it was certain to go out now.
is not running away from home? Is it really a problem? The police found a problem in the conversation with Xiao Jia's mother. Zhou said that her son and myself worked in the same workshop of a auto fittings company, which was arranged meticulously by her husband and husband.
"is not to get a clearer picture of the dynamics of my son!" Zhou said that his son is also very clever at ordinary times and does not like to speak, because he is afraid of being bullied by him, so he arranges him to work with himself so that he can take care of his son every day.
although both husband and wife are quiet, the police can feel the pressure of Zhou Jia's excessive care and control of his parents, which is probably the root cause of Zhou Jia's departure from home.
son:
can't bear the mother's "love"
through detailed inquiry, the police learned that Zhou Jia and his friend Ruan's relationship is very good, then contacted Ruan Mou. Through patient communication, Ruan admitted that he knew the whereabouts of Zhou Jia, and the police only contacted Zhou Jia.
"I work with my mother every day, live together, look at me for 24 hours, like a bird in a cage, and I can't live like this." As expected, Zhou Jia told the police that he was a good boy from his childhood. He said everything he said. After graduating from the technical school, he was assigned to work in the auto parts factory by his mother, which became a life and work place under the mother's supervision.
due to the lack of experience in starting work, Zhou Jia was often scolded by her mother because of her work, and sometimes she had to be beaten. "I have already grown up, and I need to start hitting people. I really can not stand it." Zhou Jia said that in rebellious period, he simply could not accept his parents' education mode. On the morning of
16, Zhou Jia ran away from home after receiving her salary. In his words, it is to get rid of parental control.
Mother shed tears, father looked vacant
because Zhou Jia did not want to speak with her parents, the police conveyed these words to Zhou couple. When she heard her son say so, she realized that her family education was lacking.
"I don't think there is any problem with my education. It's a child's problem. It's all for his good!" On the other side, Zhou's father was inexplicable and did not believe in his education. Zhou said that the child was introverted from childhood and had no opportunity to contact the society and arranged him to work with her mother. It was completely afraid of the child being bullied or something else, so that the child could be protected by the mother.
in the face of this situation, the police can only enlighten the side to allow parents to think more about their children. Eventually, Zhou and his wife left the police station and continued to contact their son.
experts say
the Chongqing morning newspaper reporter, senior psychologist, and famous emotional columnist, Zhang Wei said Zhou's father and mother had been playing the right in front of their children because they had only rights. Wei is qualified to carry out uninterrupted instructions and surveillance to others. As far as human nature is concerned, no one likes to set up an authority all day long.
Zhang says that the reason why the child is kept silent may have a certain relationship with his own character, but it depends largely on the strength of his parents so that the obedience of the child has been accompanied by depression and unhappiness, and a kind of oppression has been formed over time. Such an oppression, so that children gradually become less confident, will gradually turn from the authority of parents' "hearing" into their own bad habits "slaves".
"why do children grow up or have no contact with society? Why do parents dare not let children face society alone? " Zhang Wei said, this just shows that parents have long been educated so that their children have become "pets" of the couple, and can only be obedient.
but the child won't be like this all his life, Zhang says, where there is the oppression where there is resistance, the child is oppressed to a certain extent, of course, it will break out. Especially when the children are grown up, they also want to scold or even start hitting the children. This is a trample on the dignity of their children, and also directly leads to Zhou Jia's Exodus.
the old saying, "parents love son, is a profound plan", meaning that parents' greatest love for their children is to respect the space for his free development in order to improve his independence. But in real life, too many parents regard their children as their "accessories". They want to put them in front of them and plan everything for them. Such educational methods often arouse young people's rebellious mentality and even cause trouble. Family education is an indispensable part of the growth of children, parents must have a correct and clear understanding of their own education, not like this pair of parents, the son can not bear to leave home, still do not know the true situation of the child.
If children grow up, don't tie him too tightly. Letting him go in time will make him develop better.