the recent "Shanghai observation" published a continuous publication of "civil servants: the welfare of this year", "is the civil service starting to unrest?" "" and other series of articles, the repercussions are strong. A Post-80 civil servant who worked in the municipal organs of the city has sent this article to us about his resignation.
"why do you want to resign?" For months, I have been asked by countless people. But frankly, I haven't really thought about it yet. Perhaps, just the impulse to hold back in my heart, finally let me take this step.
in fact, I have never been a "dare to think" and even indecisive. But this time I was very determined and resolute in my resignation. After resigning for more than four months, I feel that I have made the right step.
first self introduction, I came from the small village in eastern Zhejiang, because the college entrance examination went to the University of Shanghai, and after graduation, I went into the municipal government as a civil servant. Therefore, I have always been the pride of my parents and the example of family children.
but in the 7 years of office work, I gradually changed from the glory of the original parents, the glory of self, into mediocre mediocrity and numbness, and then to self questioning and introspection. The sound of "leaving here and rushing outside" has been in my mind for three years.
but inexplicable fear and uneasy uncertainty about the future, let me constantly self comforting, self paralysis, and put my mind in the bottom of my mind. But a dinner party three months ago made all kinds of emotions break out.
one day in August 2013, 10th anniversary of the undergraduate students gathered together. The classmates who lived together in the past saw each other again, and were very friendly. In the past ten years, many students have made great progress.
some of them have already done investment bank executives, some become chief executives of large enterprises, well known lawyers from foreign capital and senior researchers from investment companies... When it comes to buying a house, it's all over 6 million. Raise stock, at least 7 digits in the account. When chatting about children, many of them read private schools, and next they are preparing for a second child.
the dinner table is still lively and constant, but I look at the familiar faces in front of me and feel cool in my heart. When I was reading, I had been a student cadre, or a regiment secretary in my class. When he graduated from graduate school, he was also selected as an outstanding student in Shanghai. But all of this seems to be nothing worth mentioning today.
when he listened to his parents' wishes, he gave up the opportunity that the company, the law firm, and so on did not look like the "iron rice bowl", and entered the civil service. After 7 years of inaction, I don't know what I left behind. Income has not risen for 7 years, rank has not changed for 7 years, ability is "obedient plus writing report", social relations are "leaders plus colleagues". But life has already entered its first year of life. At that moment, I felt deeply that I was loser.
is it not hard for yourself? Never be late for work, leave early, never leave for no reason, public holidays often end at the end of the year, overtime is always the initiative to fight for. In the first few years, three meals were eaten in the canteen. But even so, what can it be?
there is no shortage of people in the small departments of municipal organs. The only thing missing is opportunity. The middle level leaders in the Department are 70 after young. The so-called development of space, small to let people despair.
is it impossible for yourself? Considering the limitations of the work of the Department, I do high school, study in the middle, actively prepare, participate in various types of selection, securities supervision, state management and other departments of the written examination have passed, but for a variety of reasons can not be successfully transferred.
after buying a house, the pressure of life rises sharply, and the growth of occupational income is hopeless. So I turn my eyes to stock investment. I put a lot of my spare time into the stock study, and I was a bumpy but still insistence, got a bit of achievement and took a number of securities professional certificates, and wanted to jump on as a professional securities analyst. But after in-depth understanding of the industry, it has been found that too old is not appropriate.
"ideal is very plentiful, reality is very skinny". When I first entered the office, I was also vigorous and vigorous, encouraging words and pointing out rivers and mountains. I also wanted to work hard to make a career. But the authorities can do something about it. It is not the receipt or the dispatch. Almost all jobs are embodied in words. No matter how well you write, the leaders at all levels must always revise them so as to reflect their high standards.
write every day and write year after year, solving problems depends on writing. Having written so many documents and speeches, there are always "leaders' attention", "determination", "elimination of all difficulties" and "victory". But at the end, that's the way it is. What can the article change? This kind of work has been exhausted for a year. The longer the organ stays, the farther away it is. This is a cruel reality.
every time I see the civil service examination army, I can't avoid feeling that the civil servant is really a "Besieged City". The people outside the city tried their best to sharpen their heads and drill in. The people in the city, however, were uneasy to leave because of their dissatisfaction.
especially after the post - 1980s civil servants, they generally have a strong sense of self - awareness, very want to realize their life self value, not to be willing to do a supporting role, silent life. But the reality is, six or seven years later, only a few young people of the same age, good communication and promotion; and some people's ability to be mediocre, but work and wait for promotion; only a few people leave, more people leave life.
all say thirty. Now I have family and children. I am under great pressure, but my future is dim. My dream is fading away. When I realized this, my heart suddenly and unwavering firmly: no matter what, if nothing changes, do not work hard, it can always be utopian.
of course, I still have to "check", in the office wasted 7 years, what else is left? Go out, is there any capital? I think, after all, I still have a very good educational background and a deep vision of the future in my heart. There is always the determination to study enthusiastically and endure hardships.
so I'm open. When it's not too late to start, confidence is more important than gold. When we leave here, we lose only the shackles, but the whole world.
from decision to resignation is only a week. During the period, the leaders were shocked to stay, their parents did not understand, but the wife was very supportive of me. Now that four months have passed, I have become a newcomer in my new post. But every day I have to get in touch with new things, learn new things, fight for myself, and strive for ideals. This makes me extremely happy, and my heart is full of passion and strength.
remember, when I left, a young colleague once said to me mournfully, "the civil servant is like a frog in a warm water. It is slowly cooked, and if he threw hot water straight away, it jumped out." The courage to struggle has been killed by the short comfort, and finally become one of those mediocre people in the organ. It is a special language.
in fact, many Post-80 civil servants have such a feeling: maybe on another stage, I can dance better.
recently, I heard that the income of the lower civil servants was less, and the job demands were higher. The undercurrents of young civil servants resigned. Everything, maybe it's just the beginning.