origin: the Phoenix Fashion article partly excerpts from the surging news
2015 year February Sa Beining with his girlfriend Li Bai Changbai Mountain skiing, love exposure; The two people held a wedding in Wuhan in May 2016. In an interview with the media, Li Bai exposed his "two generation" status, calling his father an entrepreneur and buying a house in Canada. This full of feelings has been the object of public blessing, but recently, Xiao SATA has been abandoned by the mother-in-law in the recording of variety shows. What is the matter?
Sa Beining and foreign wife Li Bai
Sa Beining said that the first visit to the mother-in-law's family was "abandoned" by his mother-in-law. His mother-in-law said to her daughter, "there are more than a billion people in China, have no other men?" Also revealed that he taught his father and foreign daughter-in-law drink the first sentence in English is "cheers!" But it was directly returned to the foreign wife by a sentence of idiomatic Chinese.
in the program, Sa Beining also said that although foreign marriage has certain language barriers. But in love, there must be something that can transcend language and do not speak clearly. It is the thing that two people strive for together. Then, for the sake of divine love, do you want to be like a little scatters, even if you are forced to fix your mother-in-law?
how much does the relationship between mother-in-law and son-in-law play a role in modern marriage? In fact, there has been relevant research, and the power of "son-in-law" is by no means unique to China.
a 26 year study of married couples found that a marriage may last longer if the husband says he has a close relationship with his father-in-law.
according to the Wall Street journal, Terry Obuch (Terri Orbuch), a psychologist and research professor at the Institute of social research at the University of Michigan, said: "these relationships become a link between husbands and wives. It's like the husband says to his wife, 'your family relationship is very important to me, because you are important to me, and I want to feel closer to them, because that makes me feel closer to you. " Dr Obuch is also the author of the 2012 new book "finding true love again: six simple steps to teach you to find a new happy marriage".
supported by the National Institutes of health, Dr. Obuch studied 373 pairs of racial couples. At the start of the 1986 study, the couples aged between 25 and 37 were still in the first year of marriage. Dr Obuch asked every newly married couple to take a self-rated rating of 1-4 to see how close they felt to their spouse's parents. During the following time, she kept track of their data, including whether their relationship was still alive. The findings were published in the Journal of family relations.
those couples who initially said they were close to their father-in-law's mother-in-law had a 20% lower risk of divorce over the next 16 years than the whole group, and in the case of a close relationship between the wife and the male mother-in-law, the result seemed to be the opposite: these couples had a 20% higher risk of divorce than the whole study.
Obuch has made a possible explanation for this: a wife who feels close to her husband and mother-in-law may find it difficult to grasp. As time goes on, she may gradually think of the intimacy of the male mother-in-law and her own as an intervention. Obuch said: "because the relationship with their loved ones is too important for women. For wives and motherhood, they are the two core identities in their lives. They would think that their words and actions interfere with their status as wives and mothers.
men do not have this problem in most cases. Dr. Obuch said that their status as a father and a man is often less important than the role of a family breadwinner. As a result, they tend not to view their father-in-law's behavior from an overly self perspective.
the study presented two suggestions to parents. For parents with sons, if you think you are close to your daughter-in-law, you can advise her how to raise children or other important issues. For parents with daughters, you should try to make your son-in-law see you as a member of the family.
do you want to improve your family relationship with your spouse? Here is a tip given by Dr. aubudch:
if you have a daughter, you will have a great relationship with your son-in-law. Your daughter will be glad to see this man become a very important member of her family.
you have to be very careful if you have a son. Their daughter-in-law may be more sensitive to interference than their son-in-law.
if you are a man's wife, be aware that it is necessary to keep a good balance between yourself and your parents.
if you are a man, treat your father-in-law as a special person and important person.