Re: children attend university parents to read: middle aged couples set off a new climax of separation
, however, parents are not welcome to the high flying children who are deeply emotional and caring.
"just at the beginning, the daughter went back to the rental room in class, but in a few days she had to rush me, not to come back, to eat dinner at most, and then not even come back to dinner." Mr. Li said.
, in fact, we can not blame sage. Her parents gave her exactly the last thing she wanted.
"the worst relationship between my mother and me is freshmen and sophomores." Xiao Peng, a third year old girl from Beijing International Studies University, told reporters.
the girl from the northwest looks soft and weak, but she is very stubborn in her bones.
just going to college, Xiao Peng is anxious to get into a good college life, so busy with her phone, and sometimes the video, little Peng is impatient, "those words, those things are talking back and forth every day." The greater contradiction between mother and daughter comes from planning for the future, and mom wants Xiao Peng to spend his life as secure as possible, stable work, stable income, and stable family, and Xiao Peng hopes that his life will be more spectacular and more thrilling.
that two years, mother and daughter two people on the phone are not loud debate or quarrel, and sometimes the simplest news of the newspaper can turn into a storm.
some experts point out that there are two puberty in Chinese children. One is the physiological change of adolescence at the age of thirteen and four. But because of the importance of the college entrance examination in most Chinese families, the puberty of many children is occupied by massive exercises, endless examinations and the strong desire to go to college, which has been diluted in the rebellion of adolescence. After
entering university, the children were strained for several years, and the hormones that had not been able to be released at puberty seemed to be released at this time.
"I want to be independent, but I don't want them to meddle in my life." Mr. Rong, a university in Xi'an, is working as an internship in Beijing. Because I can't find the right house and live "terrible", "my parents have good friends in Beijing, so long as I open their mouth they can help me solve the problem of the house, but I really don't want it, even if it's no matter how miserable it is."
after puberty, children enter the post adolescence. They are obstinately trying to throw away their parents. Suddenly, "empty nest" parents do not understand children, but still love their children in their own way.
the sharp contradiction has come into being.
"I am particularly reluctant to think of them now and stamp their feet whenever they think of it." This is the two month mentality of Hu Jiajia, who has just started college life. The three families who loved each other now are almost enemies.
Hu Jia Jia is a native of Qingdao, Shandong. She was admitted to a university in Shanghai, and the whole family was very happy. Hu Jiajia didn't want his parents to send him to school, but his parents said they wanted to take the opportunity to travel to Shanghai.
finished reporting, finished Hu Jia Jia, and his parents stayed in Shanghai for another week. It looks like everything is normal.
second days after his parents left, the counselor called Hu Jia Jia to one side. Hu Jiajia was shocked that the counselor gave her a "big red bag", saying that Hu Jia Jia's parents had given him a little "meaning" before leaving, so that he could take a lot of attention to Hu Jia Jia.
"as long as I think of the moment I took the red bag from my teacher, I felt all over it. I felt my self-confidence completely collapsed and my whole university was destroyed by my parents." Hu Jiajia said.
that day, Hu Jiajia had a big fight with his parents on the phone, so that they would never mind their own affairs again, and not "harming themselves again".
parents' best love for their children is to let them leave
but, as their children grow up and mature, and their parents gradually adapt to the "empty nest" life, the sharp and intense parent-child conflict can also be eased.
"I suddenly understand some of them." Yi Chen, a senior student at Nankai University, said.
the major of Yi Chen is German. His career ideal is to be a "biography" (simultaneous interpretation), but his parents want him to take an examination of the civil servants and ask him to supplement the financial and management major at the time of the freshman year.
is very disgusted with the parents' such kind of advice. In order not to be put out by the parents, the minor major only took one semester to stop, and then Yi Chen went away from the University of Heidelberg in Germany for a year's exchange student.
the change of Yi Chen began as an exchange student.
is probably far from the familiar environment. After having tasted the hardships of life, Yi Chen became calm. He suddenly understood the intention behind his parents' planning for the road. "I know that the road that my parents pointed out can see the head, but it is the most secure way." Yi Chen said.
"as we grow up, I also understand that it is also a kind of struggle to have to work with parents at that time." Zhang Xin, a senior student from Shandong, said he was not only unwilling to listen to his parents, but also unwilling to go home when he went to university. It was as if it was the only way to prove that he was completely free from the care of his parents.
"the relationship between children and their parents is from attachment to" responsibility ", while the relationship between parents and children is from 'responsibility' to 'attachment'. Zhang Xin said that the watershed is basically 18 years old, so the contradiction and conflict between the children and their parents will be very obvious then.
a year after she went to college, Ms. Lin found a new place in his work and life. She rethought that the parents of our generation wanted to educate their children ideally and cultivate their children into their ideal type. In this process, they lost themselves and sacrificed their work and life. Parents' excessive attention makes the grown children feel constrained, not free and eager to break away from their fetters.
one of the words of the writer Long Yingtai made Ms. Lin deeply touched: "the mother and daughter, mother and daughter, only means that you and his fate are constantly growing far away in this world." You are standing at the end of the path, watching him fade away on the corner of the path, and he silently tells you with his back: "no need to catch up."
Ms. Lin said, "the best love for children is to let them leave smoothly, and parents should not become a stumbling block for their children to leave."