Thinking caused by a child's no call
, we were invited to visit dad's aunt's home. Aunt's daughter-in-law has been in the door for nearly a year, but she has been familiar with us for several years. Dot is no exception. It is called "aunt".
aunt has always been fond of dots, and always can't help but tease her with childishness, often attracting a lot of joy. Before you pass the door, you should introduce yourself to your aunt, which is basically called "beautiful woman". On the day when
, when we arrived, aunt was taking a nap. After I woke up, I didn't take the initiative to greet each other. Even though my aunt used eighteen kinds of Wu Yi, she didn't get a good word from a little girl. I simply remind that "beauty", "Auntie" and "aunt" can be called all, but I will not force any more.
if this is in the past, I will assume that the child is not polite, but no matter 37 or twenty-one, we must find a way to make her cry. More or less, with the element of face saving, or my daughter's "no tutoring". But now it is different. I gradually adjusted my mindset and changed my subjective sense of parents.
the evening, the dinner, the little is also the same as the rice (this child, the table is to fill the stomach, and do not ask for the dishes, the whole bucket. " It's too real. Besides, the aunt is actually making fun of a picture and making fun of it. My aunt is an extra rice for a little bit. After being sent to my aunt, she is directly intercepted by her aunt.
I reckon, this is a trouble! If you don't eat this set, the stalemate is inevitable. I personally do not agree with this way of teasing the child, but at that time I was consciously inconvenient to dissolve, and once the intervention was not accurate, it was the fragile nerve of the child. I knew my daughter too much.
dinner table, the uncle and the wind and rain to guide the point, Auntie's heart has not Gandhi soft and hard, little attitude resolutely not compromise, I remain silent...
such a stalemate lasted for a long time...
suddenly, gripping, eyes reddening, tears streaming down, grievances extremely......
aunt is also silly, this is not her original intention.
I just opened my mouth and made an objective point for the dots, comforting two sentences, and taking the rice to the children.
I am still wondering whether the way of handling at that time is right. But if a similar situation is reproduced, I am afraid I will still choose to take it lightly. Although I know that this child is sensitive, I hope she can gradually get the integration of good mentality. After
, go to the toilet, and I'll follow. Because there was no one at present, I had a casual chat with my children.
I can understand that she doesn't understand why it's two different things to ask people to hook up with meals. Why is it that "beauty" has become "aunt" (though nearly a year ago, her concept of address is still vague). I simply explained the origin of the address and made a slight mention of it.
I show that calling people is a basic courtesy, but it has nothing to do with any form of reward and punishment. At the same time, I am not angry, but also understand the children, of course, I believe she can make the initiative to call people.
a little relief!
imagine whether our traditional education is used to guide children's behavior by rewards and punishments.
the child is called a person, give some candy, enjoy a heap of snacks;
coax other people's children to live by "elders", and be ignored by the ungreeted children, give a big hat "impolite";
the child does not call a person, and the self-conscious parents are indiscriminate and appear in public for the prestigious letter. Reprimand.
a lot of our children may be living in a misunderstood and respectful environment. Is this really a problem for children?
talk about her daughter. After observation, I expressed her indeterminate expression and made the following analysis.
first call a person's situation:
1, familiar with the other side, very close, as usual contact relatives and friends. Or on the day of contact with time, born feelings;
two, the face of strangers, especially women, so that the sense of sublimate kindliness will be willing to approach. Or when the other person first expresses friendly intimacy, it usually reports the same etiquette;
three, for example, some neighbors, some are older, but amiable, not to be elders. Meeting on the initiative and a little bit of chat, chat, and then make children have a sense of intimacy and equality, almost far see her call out;
four, in the kindergarten, meet some of the non class teachers, the same will be polite greeting. From my observation, the teachers' commonalities are smiling and approachable. A few teachers who laugh at each other seem to be blind. In this respect, we may also talk about eye contact. Adults also pay attention to a fate.
to sum up, my summary is: the attitude of adults should not be high in the face of children. Before the children are required to be courteous, we should first take the body as an example and take the initiative to greet the children. Our affinity will directly affect the children and must never force the temptation. Regard children as equal friends, not dolls.
again not a person:
1, ill health, poor mood;
two, subjective consciousness against or fear of someone;
three, playing on the head, not stopping to halt with who who is greeting;
four, pure cause It is caused by shyness and strangeness;
five; there is no reason why we do not want to call or do not want to call, this is a little bit of explanation. I understand that she does not want to succumb to the dignity of an adult, nor does she want to be held under control.
to sum up, my summary is: at a certain age, children are not willing to call people on the initiative, usually with objective reasons, parents should not be forced to force them, nor should they be reprimanded in public. It is true that the introverted shy character needs to be guided patiently and never be too hasty. Parents are like a mirror. They are polite and enthusiastic, which is more practical than knocking on wooden fish with their children's words. As for emotional problems, adults should be more understanding and tolerant. Children are not fake, nor are they too good for the hypocrisy of adults. Why should they let children imitate the hypocrisy of adults?
so, when a child does not want to call a person, we might as well observe, think calmly, analyze the cause, take the remedy, or respect human rights, and take the course of it. Shallow view, for reference only!
by long. Just tell the truth ~ (blueyiru) from NetEase community.