The psychologist tells you how the child boasts
"in the past few years, we have been encouraging education, which is to praise children. Maybe everyone overlooked one question - how did the child boast? If you always said, 'the best child, you're the best', then the first time he wrote, the second time he thought you were lying.
on the morning of June 17th, the conference room on the two floor of Ji'nan mansion was packed. Ms. Feng Xiaochun, the senior editor of the national two level psychologist, "wish you happiness - the most parent", has made a lecture entitled "parents' education is the starting line of children", on the education problem of a lot of parents who have a headache.
according to the plan of "parents' school entering the community (Campus)" in Ji'nan, two family education sessions will be held each month to meet the parents.
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children have a problem, parents should first reflect on
walk to the rostrum, Feng Xiaochun brought a basin of green green apple, green apple. This move has aroused hundreds of parents' curiosity. Feng Xiaochun's speech also naturally started from this plant.
"when I bought it, I saw its leaves were so green that they thought they liked water, so they watered every day. I didn't think that the leaves were wilting every day. I put it aside. I'm lazy. I just wanted to throw it away last week. Who knows it is alive again! "Feng Xiaochun said, many of the time parents' education for children is" for granted ", and before they can understand the children, they impose their ideas on them. The effect of education is conceivable.
next, Feng Xiaochun points out that children's starting lines are not what they can learn before school age, but "parental education". The harmonious relationship between husband and wife is the best gift that parents can give to their children.
she compares fish and fish tanks. "Our family is like a fish tank, and the child is a fish in it. If the fish tank is out of question, who is the most clear? It's the fish. The child is very sensitive, once the fish tank has cracks, the water begins to flow outwards. At this time, children will use their own body to plug cracks. She said that when children appear to be addicted to Internet, tired of learning and puppy love, parents should not blindly blame their children, but should reflect on their family relationships.
"the child is very innocent. He wants to attract parents' attention in this way. I hope you can make up the cracks in the fish tank as early as possible." In Feng Xiaochun's opinion, if we want to educate our children, we must first deal with the relationship between husband and wife.
to set rules for children, but also to learn to "gently adhere to"
at this time, she likes to take an example of her American friend to tell parents how to use "gentle persistence" to help children build custom habits.
her friend has a lot of children. During the meal, children like to make noise, sometimes they have to eat for two hours. Once, a friend is going to make rules for the children. She first asked the children's advice: "how long does it take to eat a meal?" "10 minutes!" "a quarter of an hour!" "half an hour!" Finally, they took the longest rule of location - no more than half an hour.
dinner time is up. The children have forgotten the new rules and continue to play. The mother did not nag, nor hurried and frighten the child. Instead, she pointed to her watch from time to time to remind the child. The children turned a deaf ear to them. After half an hour, she told the children, "now it's time, I'm sorry, dinner is over." Then she began to clear the table, put things in the fridge, and locked the kitchen door. The children realized that there was no food to eat, and kept begging for their mother. "Baby, mom knows you're hungry." She said to the child, "but we have the rules. Let's talk and eat it tomorrow morning." so, in the second day breakfast, the children didn't make any more noise or more than half an hour.
Feng Xiaochun said that many families have no rules, not because they did not say it, but because they did not insist.
"best" and "best" are not suitable for every child
"in the past few years, we have been popular to encourage education, which is to praise children. Maybe we have overlooked a question -- how can children exaggerate? "Feng Xiaochun said," people can't always be the best. " Such encouragement will bring bad hints to children.
"some children take what they have drawn to their parents, and the parents begin to say 'baby, you draw really well, you draw best!' the child began to believe it, and the second time you were lying." To encourage children with "the best" and "the best", she says, is likely to give children the idea that I only have the best and best one to live in the world and have a chance to get the affirmation of my parents. Obviously, this does not apply to every child. In Feng Xiaochun's opinion, too much expectation can cause the child to feel deeply frustrated and lose self-confidence.
, then, how to encourage children? Be sincere. Feng Xiaochun said that parents only sincerely respect their children from the heart, will play the role of encouragement. "Don't be absent-minded about what your children are trying to do. You don't have to boast that he is the best. You only need to use descriptive language to tell children what they are doing. In this way, the children will feel that their parents really care about themselves.
, in addition, she reminded parents not to compare their children with others' children. "It's very simple. If your husband tells you every day, 'look at how beautiful, gentle and successful your wife is, how well a child teaches. Why do you think so? "What you think of is not to strive for progress, but to break up with him and divorce. Our children are the same. " Feng Xiaochun said that in such a simple comparison, what the children see is a purely utilitarian thing, and they can not feel their parents' love and "grievances".
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parents school into community (Campus)
parents' school into community (Campus) activities by Ji'nan civilization office, Ji'nan Municipal Education Bureau and other units jointly launched, and started in June 17, 2012.
this activity aims at "the parents study well, the child is up and up", the professional quality family education team, walk into the community (Campus), publicize the scientific knowledge of family education, and transfer the scientific, rigorous, correct and intelligent family education to the parents of the spring city.
next, the lecturer group will go deep into the community (Campus) of Ji'nan City, organize the special report of "parents school into the community (Campus)", and broadcast it to the city by Ji'nan education television station and Ji'nan radio news broadcast. The wonderful content will be made into disks and sent to parents. The activities will be organized twice a month, which will choose different communities (Campus), and strive to make "parents school into the community (Campus)" for several years to go through the community (Campus) of Ji'nan to form an impact and form a brand.