Parents nagging too much to be careful with children "deaf"
Author: Ma Shu Jun Wei
is now in the middle of the middle and primary school examination in Ji'nan, the children who are suffering from the stress of learning are annoying to their parents' nagging. Some children's QQ signature even wrote such a text "crash! Crash!! collapse!!!" some parents' hard words, instead of becoming the pressure of children. In the traditional education, the theory of "teaching children to speak more than two times is effective" is somewhat out of order now. The latest British research shows that frequent nagging can lead to "hearing loss" and "0 reactions" in educational psychology to parents.
children hate listening to
"no lie!" "turn off the computer right away." "Go home from school." "Listen to the teacher!" "you don't dally." "You are expected later." Who will call you? "I say no, I can't." "You look at something stronger than you." 0 "play with some kind of bad boy." "This question will not, do you go to class?" 0 "as long as you learn, anything else do not have to manage"
hope to change a father
if you can, read the third of Xiao Wei really want to change a father. Little Wei dad is usually very few at home, but as long as he is at home, he will start a nagging offensive, and often even irony and thorns. In the first two days, he failed in the mathematics examination, and got the "evaluation" that his income for school was not as good as that of raising pigs. Xiao Wei injustice to express, want to listen to a word of encouragement, is it so difficult?
nagging as the source of pressure
14 years old as little as recently due to continuous tinnitus and many hospitals have not been treated, finally in the mind of the Counselor's guidance, finally found the cause - the pressure is too big. This pressure does not come from learning, but from her mother. Since two weeks ago, my mother had been nagging her for nearly two hours because of a wrong question on the test paper, and she developed tinnitus symptoms. Since then, every time she hears her mother's nagging, she will be nervous and nervous.
first group: 10
70% children of primary, junior and high school students thought the parents nagging
survey showed that more than 70% of the children made it clear that at least one of their parents was "nagging". Moreover, with the increase of children's age, the index of nagging parents has increased.
was asked "what makes you feel parents nagging" when pupils hate their parents to look at themselves as children and make a big deal in detail; high school students, more dislike their parents' interference in their social and privacy, and impose their will on themselves; the students hate to hear "this
" It's all for you "," I'll count on you later, "and
"you nagging you, I did my"
Hin "first grade in primary school. She was very disgusted with her mother's nagging," still dad, never nagging me. "
junior middle school student Xiao Li said his parents opposed him and his basketball team mates. "I should have made good friends." I think my friend is very good and very polite. So my parents nagged me to listen to who to play with or who to play with. "Mom and dad keep talking about all day long that I want to be good at university and become a doctor in the future." Gao Xiaolei said angrily, "why do they decide my future? I don't want to study hard. Who wants to be a doctor?"
second groups: part of the parents
80% nagging parents don't recognize
children think parents nagging, what do parents see? Reporters contacted the parents of some of the children interviewed, and was surprised to find that more than 80% of the parents first responded: "the child feels I nagging?" "
and to study hard...
Mr. Shi said that he had no idea that he was in the heart of
reading senior three's son, and she herself was
"chicken mother". "It may be that the children's
learning is too anxious, not
consciously repeating some unnourishing
words, causing a child's repugnance."
nagging is only for
"do you think nagging is useful?" in the face of this problem, more than half of parents say that nagging is mainly a psychological comfort to yourself: to say, the responsibility is done, and most of the time the more the effect is worse. "My side is dry and thirsty. What should we do on the children's side?" Ms. Wang said she did not want to annoy her children. Mrs. Jiang shared the same feeling: "now my daughter hardly talks to me, so I am afraid I can catch the opportunity to educate her."
Ms. Li says, sometimes, nagging is necessary, for example, when a child suffers a setback and loses confidence, a parent should be tired of giving him an effort. More time, than nagging, not as good as action. For example, nagging children to go to bed early and get up early is not as good as parents to keep their children up early.
nagging is behind education anxiety
encourages parents to try to keep the
"nagging", to transfer non
security, and to strengthen the approval of the children.
some words are worse than
parents' nagging, which is much more common and logical, so it's worse than not to say. "Play with more students with good results, play less with bad children with bad grades" is a typical case, is a bad result a bad child? Parents' nagging can not solve the problem, but also lead to more problems. Frequent nagging leads to "hearing loss" in children, resulting in the "0 reaction" in educational psychology, which makes it impossible to teach. Children are tired of listening to their parents, and they turn back into their own hearts. For a long time, they will form a handicap of attention, or escape to the outside world, indulge the network, and even mix up the society.
criticism should be point to
parents criticize the education of children. It is necessary to pay attention to methods and to leave the space of thinking so that children can easily accept it. Parents nagging too much, will let the children do not know the primary and secondary, do not know which sentence to listen to. Parents should punish children for irony and sarcasm. Vicious criticism and abuse can not only play an educational role, but also hurt their self-esteem. It is probably more effective to let children grow up from mistakes.
invited expert Yang Qing, national two counsellor