Every growing child longs for affirmation
scolding, in the eyes of parents is a trivial matter, but for children, parents scolding, is their own "the end of the world." Children's growth needs to be affirmed. It must be the sunshine of children's life.
many parents always believe that strict demands depend on scolding. Only in this way can children progress. Two psychologists once did a psychological test: they divided the children into two groups, A and B, and asked them to test the same questions. After three days, again to the school, tell the A group students:
"the last test results are very good, test again today, you must not lose to the last time, write it!"
also said to the students in B group: "your last grade was very poor. How do you do it? This time we must fight back to win the victory! "
results, the original results of the two groups, get a positive and praise of a group, second test results are very good; after being blamed after the group, the results are very poor.
some parents, although they understand the "scolding the child is not good, affirmative and praise will make the child better", but I can not do it. It is hard to see that children do not study hard or even make trouble. At the moment, the most important thing is to have a thorough understanding of children and believe in children.
Xu Yafen, chairman of Zhejiang Wanli Education Group, is a very successful woman and an excellent mother. Once I went to Ningbo to visit her school, and she talked to me about her children's education and I was greatly inspired. When
Xu Yafen's son went to primary school, he got good grades in Chinese, but he didn't like math, so his grades were poor. Once, my son came back from school and said to his mother, "the school has measured our intelligence quotient." The teacher said that my right brain is more developed than my left brain, my image thinking ability is strong, and the number concept is poor, so my language achievement is better than that of mathematics. It seems that my math scores are not going up. "
Xu Yafen said in surprise, "is that so? I'll ask the teacher when I'm free. "
she really went to school, found a class teacher, and secretly reached an agreement with the head teacher. A few days later, Xu Yafen said very seriously to his son: "son, tell you a big thing, I went to school to ask the teacher, the teacher said he was wrong, you are the left brain is more developed than the right brain, learning mathematics will be much stronger than Chinese."
is it true? Do the teachers really say that? " The son was wide eyed and excited.
"yes, the teacher said, he misread the result, he said another student, not you, you are left brain is more developed than the right brain."
My son believed in it. He really thought, "I am good at mathematics. I am good at it." This made him completely change his view of himself. Since then, he has regained confidence and spirit when he studied mathematics.
so, for parents, it is important to trust the potential power of the child, and as long as it is able to give full play to it, the child will become a great child.
exaggerated children should also exaggerate, not simply wear high hat, which will cause children's resentment. I remember a boy once told me that when he was away from home, he cleaned up the family by himself and wanted to surprise his mother. When mom came back, she said loudly, "you are a good child who loves labor!" As soon as he heard this, he was fed up, and immediately said with displeasure, "it's boring!" Another mother is not so. Her six year old daughter often likes to tidy up the room when she is not at home. When her mother came back, she always said in surprise, "Oh! It's so clean! Who did it? " So the daughter came out from behind the door. Mother said to herself, "I didn't expect you to do it. You are great!" The daughter was so happy that she felt very good. Next time her mother went out, she continued to do so.
of course, this method only applies to children in childhood. When your child is young, you can say directly: "you are great!" But if they grow into youth, if you say so again, they will think you will tell them to do things instead of you 80%. Therefore, the best way is to tell others what they are doing with a compliment, but let them hear them and make them feel proud. Every growing child is eager to be affirmed by his parents, affirmed by the teacher and affirmed by the society. As long as he can praise and affirm him for his merits, he will become better.
I often hear parents sigh for their children. This is because you think he is bad, so he is really bad. If you can change your mind and be sure that "children have a bad reason" and use such a mood to guide their children, I think he will get better. Because children cannot be "transformed" by their parents or teachers, they must be allowed to "improve" themselves. No matter how much hope you have for your child, how you want to transform him, and how to transform him in various ways, it is still in vain. Because the idea that you want to transform him is wrong in itself. Even if you think of it for many, he will be fine. Therefore, we must believe this and let the children improve themselves. It is not easy for him to change his mind. Those who are slow or mischievous around us must not be scolding. They need to be more sure. For those children who commit mistakes or even commit crimes, the hope of encouragement will lead them to life's sails.
for children, family education, school education and social education are indispensable to the three. In order to make today's children an excellent talent for socialist construction, it is urgent to adjust the way we educate our children and improve the environment for the growth of children.