It is parents' shortsightedness that deprives children of the right to experience success.
today, many children's psychological world has become a desert from the wasteland, because they have never or rarely had the experience of "I can do".
I asked Xu Li, "are there any proudly things in your memory?"
Xu Li said, "I used to be a class committee in my class, but my mother said that it would affect learning and let me quit my duty as a class committee. I'm really happy to do it myself. There was an old grandmother who had no children and had difficulty walking. Some of my classmates took turns to help her cook. I think I still have a little bit of use. But after hearing this, my mother wouldn't let me go, saying that it would affect my college entrance examination.
"do you think your mom really needs you?" I asked him.
Xu Li said, "at home, mom doesn't want me to do anything for her, just let me learn. But there's a time for me. My mother was not in good health. Whenever dad was not at home, she asked me to help move the gas tank. At this point, I felt that I had grown up and used something like a man. But there's not a lot of opportunity. "
in Xu Li's 17 years of memory, only these two things make him proud: one is helping the old grandmother to cook, and one is to help the sick mother move the gas tank. Do these things to make him feel the same way: "I still have some use!" I can do it! " This is the beginning of a man's adult. Unfortunately, she did not realize the value of this feeling, and thought that such a thing had nothing to do with "university entrance examination" and prevented her son from continuing to do it. But she never dreamed that since she had stopped the child from helping others that day, she had buried a merciless seed in the heart of the child and closed the child to the door to happiness. Because when you help a weak person, you can experience your personal value most.
pursuit of embody personal value is a manifestation of human progress. When we recollection of our childhood, we have a deep memory that is not a 100 point in the exam, but a personal experience. The things that they do "secret", whether it is good or mischievous, as long as they want to dry, dry, dry, will never forget? This is the experience. The experience of
when we help children to experience "I can do", there are three problems that deserve special attention.
is to redo the "official", or to do a heavy job of
once, a student parent in Henan City, because of his own son did not work as a cadre, did not comment on the three good students, take the head of the class teacher. Such individual examples also reflect another misconception of today's parents, that is, regard cadres as a sign of success. This is a great mistake! We should educate children to learn to behave and learn to do things when they are young.
another time, I went to Desheng Street Primary School in Yichang, Hubei, and found that they did a good job in quality education. The school put forward a slogan, "let us come", the practice of "everything is done by everyone, everyone has something to do", to divide everything in the class to every student. For example, some students are "glass custodian", and some students are "blackboard Administrators". A child proudly said to me, "I was chosen as a vacuum cleaner. In fact, it's' little garbage Keeper '.
small jobs have great responsibilities for children. The awakening of the children's sleeping consciousness is very important for growing children.
two, is the result of heavy, or the heavy process
some parents prevent children from reading books, attending extracurricular activities, there is a constant reason - the university does not test this. Parents who have such thoughts have a very simple request for their children: "if you can score a high score and go to college, I can give you everything." You can even sacrifice your own work and happiness. As we all know, this kind of "excessive protection" can not make children grow up normally. It is the parents' short sightedness that deprives the child of the right to experience success; it is the child who has few opportunities to experience success, and their spiritual world has become a desert from the wasteland.
three, dry for the children, or let the child do
a junior high school girl and a reporter's mother go to the summer camp together. When she gets off the train, she gives her a lot of luggage to her mother and she accepts it happily; to the camp, the mother goes out to interview, the girl looks for mother everywhere, and says her own medicine. Put it to my mother. Mother came back and was blamed by her daughter, but she kept reviewing herself, saying it was her fault. I asked the girl, "why don't you take your baggage?" The girl said frankly, "these things have always been done by my mother."
many parents are so willing to do it for their children, and the child is not "feeling", and every day calls "I'm tired", and think that it is all the parents' fault. Today's parents are tired and don't know what to do.
a boy is going to the mountain to take part in a two day camping trip. Before his departure, her mother asked her son if he needed help. The son said proudly, "I will take care of myself." In the evening, mother quietly checked his luggage and found that he didn't bring enough clothes because the mountains were much colder than the plains. He also found that he did not bring a flashlight. This is something that camping needs.
second days, the son is leaving, and his mother asks, "have you brought everything together?" You can rest assured that
are all brought together. The son came out of his family confidently.
mom saw her son on the road and said nothing.
a few days later, the son came back.
mother asked, "what? Very happy, right? "
the son said, "it was very happy that I had too little clothes, and I didn't bring a flashlight, and I had to borrow to go out to others every night. These two things made me very embarrassed."
"Why are there fewer clothes?"
"I thought the weather there was the same as here. I never thought the mountain would be colder than here. Next time, I'll know what to do. "
"what happened to the flashlight?" The mother asked again.
"I thought, the teacher also told us to bring flashlights, but we were so busy that we forgot. I think the next time we go camping, we'll make a list, just like dad is preparing things before a business trip, so we won't forget.
error is also an experience. The mother knew how to let the child learn in the error. She did not take the place of it. She did not accuse her, but let the child bear the trouble of being careless and unthoughtless. So the child has the most precious gift in life -- experience. This experience can not be bought with money, nor can adults replace it. We can do this instead of children, but we can not replace children growing up.