To be the beauty and sorrow of a Ji'nan intellectual
note: recent changes in the route to work have changed the landscape of the city every day, and Ji'nan, the capital of the Shandong provincial capital, seems to be moving towards the "building group" on the map and the surface. And what about people's feelings about it? So, think of an old composition, because of the limit of the number of blogs, so cut into the upper and lower parts -
"to be a Ji'nan intellectual's beauty and sorrow"
to the understanding of "Ji'nan intellectuals" here, please refer to "New York intellectuals" The local scope of application of the word. I know that today's intellectuals are more proud of internationalization, and that "globalization" and "the earth village" are just like the heroes of the rivers and lakes. . Therefore, in Ji'nan for more than 20 years as a registered resident of the household, never felt that there had been a feeling of love or love for it, but it was just a chance to move the dust and decide to love Ji'nan.
Yes, of course. The ancient city of the northern provincial capital has already enjoyed the solemn love of many famous scholars of the literati. Today, it does not seem to be rare, so this love at the moment is marked by the humble soul gene of the loving people. In the various reading cities and texts that are now in fashion, the compliment and severe criticism of it are the opportunities it gives to people, and never is what people give it. Like any large and medium-sized city in China, which has been developing rapidly in recent years, its growing body is full of immigrants who will wipe it off with oil.
my love for Ji'nan is also a bit frivolous. Like most of the foreign residents living in Ji'nan, I am largely a person who is accidentally and blindly entering its territory to make a livelihood, and there has not been a common destiny with this city. To love a person or a city, but not to enter the orbit of its destiny, can not become part of its fate. This love is crazy. The emotional expression of crazy, often more formalized than deep and serious drama bridge, to bite the teeth and hoarse: first is to express the determination, emotional thorough; second is to express the power to use, to move as much as possible the length of action; third, the Ji'nan to personal feelings. Small pattern, it is not so good digestion, not as tempted, emotional, moving, this love is really hard to say.
this time is a summer evening, a summer evening, and a friend of the men and women to go to Qianfo Hill, by the big moon at eight or nine o'clock in the evening, watching the fire around the mountains around the hills, imagining a large scale of tall buildings and cement forest between Taishan in the Yellow River, just like Like a small fishing port, East and West, a pile of ground is shimmer in the boundless darkness.
is this Ji'nan?
where the neon lights flicker all night in the real memory, the imagination is flamboyant, prosperous and extravagant, but like a few light and red bubbles, it is dotted with the stars.
in an instant, there is a kind of nostalgia that is both literary and angry. For many years, we ignore and ignore the actual layout of Ji'nan. It is probably our memory of the area of our own experience, or we simply refuse to remember. Day in and day out, when it is too late to escape, remember what it is?
at the same time, we are not far at the foot of the famous view of the "nine points". It is said that when the weather is fine in the past, we can see the nine scenic spots in the hundred square circle of Ji'nan. In the impression, it should also be the psychological standing point of Zhao Meng (mega page) as "magpie's autumn color map". Ji'nan, on the autumn color map of the magpie, is magnificent, the river is vast, the waterfront is luxuriant, the farmhouse is just like, the distant magpie China two mountains and Shuangfeng protruding, is a rare realistic classic in the history of Chinese art. It is said that Song Taizu and Zhao Kuangyin's son of ten sun Zhao Meng (MB), by the Yuan Shi ancestor for the people to search for relic from Huzhou in Zhejiang, from the age of 33 to Ji'nan, to 42 years old, to return to a home, met with close friends (word Gong) to tell each other to travel, Zhou grew in Huzhou, ancestral Shandong but from the future, so Zhao, but Zhao, then Zhao, then Zhao, then Zhao, then Zhao, but Zhao, but Zhao, but Zhao from the future, so Zhao For the sake of "Gong Zhuan", it is only in the mountains and rivers that it is alone, but it is noted in Zuo's name. Therefore, this is also a kind of image of Ji'nan in which ancient intellectuals introduced each other.
in the summer night of Qianfo Hill sentimental in the Ji'nan layout narrow and narrow, thinking with Lao She old people in the eyes of the eyes of the scene to resonate, in itself is in vain. The season is not right.
Ji'nan, as a result of the summer climate limit of the land, makes the eastern coastal areas look askance to it. It is now sitting on the silent stone steps in Qianfo Hill, and recollect that the Ji'nan in the memory of the ancient and modern Chinese and foreign intellectuals is mostly autumn and winter. Zhao Meng (mega page) of autumn Hua Tu is not necessary to say that the late Qing social public intelligentsia and the old remnants of the wandering party in the old remnants of the old remnants of Liu E are all the stories of the autumn and winter stories that have happened in the autumn and winter in Ji'nan. Autumn. In the 50s of last century, Shen Congwen came to Ji'nan to see cultural relics, and also in the late autumn. He lived in the Museum of Shandong Province on the previous site. He wrote his family books on the light yellow light. He told his wife, Zhang Zhaohe, who wore a single coat to the temple fair in Qianfo Hill during the day.
a German missionary named Wei Lixian, who introduced his favorite Ji'nan to his domestic readers as a Sinologist: "Ji'nan was still an old Chinese city at that time, and there was no dusty, noisy, and self - inhabited neighborhood." The city of Qianfo Hill is full of temples and temples, and the Ji'nan house is at the foot of the mountain. There are many springs in this city, and clear springs flow out of every corner of the city. Temples and teahouses can be seen everywhere, and the silent banks are full of vitality due to the market full of small stalls and loud voices. Many springs flow into news, and flow through almost every street, so Ji'nan is one of China's clean cities. The stream in the city is gathered in the north of the city. This is the Daming Lake in the lotus leaf field. Just say lotus leaf Tian, did not mention lotus, should not be too summer.
however, all these can enter the Ji'nan of ancient times, all through the eyes of tourists, not from the eyes of local residents. Take a look at the scenic spots written on landmark sites like Daming Lake Baotu Spring in Qianfo Hill. There are few local intellectuals' brushwork. "Living elsewhere", Milan Kundla's novels can stay in the bestseller list for a long time in the Chinese book market. It really breaks through a general rule of ancient and modern times.
remember the beginning of the early 80s of last century to Ji'nan, with young colleagues to go to the newspaper accounts, which is located in the center of the yard of the small police station in the downtown area, there are two pomegranate trees that begin to hang fruit, the structure of the surrounding structure is also very warm, the old city residence four courtyard style, the coming and coming face often hang The gentleness of the ordinary days. Waiting for the formalities, sitting on a doorstep, looking up at the courtyard on the courtyard, the blue sky flutters out of the fine cloud, hearing a heavy Ji'nan accent in the words next to someone, thinking that this is a bad accent. Then, in this city, work, live, love... However, the content of love is always two strangers approaching, but this process does not seem to have much to do with Ji'nan. Although, it is as much as he can, as well as the imagination of two strangers, provides the atmosphere and scene that love should be, but it is more like a very dimly replaceable backdrop. Love in Ji'nan can also happen in other cities. I have always been puzzled: is this the wrong way to love, or is love always beyond its age background? It is the Chinese love trilogy that Wang Xiaobao and Li Yinhe coauthored by the Chinese people. There are several places where homosexuals are concentrated, and some marveled at the unfathomable love and hate of Ji'nan. But the place where Wang Xiaobao was seen by a fierce man and a strong man in Ji'nan was also a long story away from us.
, and often out of the field, step out of the railway station, there is a feeling of emotional fall. The air of the whole body was covered with some kind of old dust; the peddlers in the street peddlers had a lot of accent and confusion. The whole man was wrapped up in a familiar and unbelievable feeling like a dream. It was in a hurry to squeeze into the bus and take several stops to fit again - this is Ji'nan. Gradually, I realized that this is actually a transient psychological weightlessness, a process of awakening from the non realization to the realization of space-time. It is a heavy and cordial screening method for Ji'nan residents and tourists.
Ji'nan is an old city, under the new shell, the core is the heart of an old sister-in-law, although it is also very maternal and inclusive, and eventually belongs to the ordinary people, people in the distance will be able to trust some of the eler thought, once close, often see is another innocent phase, the old appearance mottled between them. And even the blunt of the blunt and snobbish pattern - which - it has its own hot habits, the rhythm of its own time and its own way of life, people say the land of the earth and the time where the city and the town are ambiguous in their memory. In a word, the people who come to Ji'nan are not to love it, but because of their political, economic and cultural needs, or other fame and fortune, to use it and use it. However, it is really used, but it is not so satisfactory. Sister-in-law is not a mother. Maternal inclusiveness is more maternally worldly and is far from consistent with wishful thinking.
then, there is a homesickness from Luri Luxi Ruan Lu north, a small slice of a small piece of land in the hinterland floats up in this Lu, and sometimes very striking, like the Ji'nan's most sunny pass on the ten road through the occasional drop of paper money, let a good day in the sunny day, a good end of the road, suddenly meet another The soul of space and time suddenly thought of the distant past: where did we come from and where to go? At the moment, Ji'nan, although there is a flourish of flower willows, is not a gentle and rich country -- thus, the critical function of the love and hate intertwined by the small and medium intellectuals is flourishing. (the large intellectuals who live in Ji'nan have long been retrained and refined, and their eyes are through the city. The culture of the river has gone. Moreover, the intellectuals who do the same type can be doubtful if they are satisfied to show that they can be accommodated by the real life of Ji'nan, and the identity and color of their intellectuals. Active criticism means self rejection and unwillingness to be compatible. It is the choice of "outside" and "edge" and "life elsewhere". As a result, the old way of living in a peaceful and poor rural life has become the greatest moral character, and the city life style of amassing wealth at the moment may be the greatest cultural immorality - the most marked floating flower, the most depraved sign of the flourishing city.
in fact, this degeneration is also very crude, with the rapid expansion of the urbanization economy and rapid bubble style. Ji'nan is a city that lacks details, and the rouge on a woman's face has a subtle sense of hierarchy, a refreshing expression, and the red and green color of a body of red and green can bump into each other. This is a very masculine city. The love between the two sexes is entangled, and the strength is slightly larger, which is directly related to life and death. As a sex image of desire, it is not the most important part of the city, which is the most turbulent place in women's thighs and lipsticks. In the places where the disadvantaged groups in the small streets are concentrated, the desire of the women to be dark and shabby, the demand is urgent, and the sex health care business is covered. The health care needs to be promoted precisely by the negative understanding of health among intellectuals. This is really a matter of remembrance of the innocence of the heart and body under the old crooked neck of the village, the pure and unblemished age of the story of my grandparents.
the old crooked neck tree at the head of the village, there are several old men standing there, the old grandmother and the shriveled mouth who squinted in the sun, and say the old grandfather, occasionally sitting under the tree desolate. However, few of the nostalgia who lived in Ji'nan were willing to return to the crooked neck. It is not the tree of the Sophora tree, which is born in the east of his house, but a tree that is more abstract, obscure and ambiguous, for spiritual narcissism and masturbation. Just like today's padmk winner of the Nobel prize in literature, in his representative work, my name is red, I claim to be "a tree." But I don't want to be a tree itself, but I want to be the meaning of it. " But the tree in Ji'nan, which is born in the city, is less expensive because of the number of trees. Instead, it is ignored by the whole because it is not a large scale. From time to time, I heard people complain: in addition to a few dull, boring parks, Ji'nan is not even green. No, how can you see it? I see the overpass near the domicile, there are several trees of the tree, tree rod light and light planted there, a year and two years and three years quietly top the branches and branches of the green, it is not easy to support a few green Yin, the city road is widened, to the roots of the dialing away. Every time I pass through this place, I feel a sudden collapse in my sight, and I feel as if I have fallen into a nostalgia. But in my heart, I did not hesitate to move forward. Most of the homesickness of modernity is "making homesickness", smearing and smearing the poetry of personal history and emotional memory: nostalgia is not the specific ancestral country, village, crooked tree and old house, only because of the loss of reality, arousing the impulse of nostalgia, and refusing to return to the poverty in the end, in the end the poverty escapes poverty. The place that is closed and ignorant comes out. If we have the ability to have opportunities, it is no harm to leave Ji'nan. To Shanghai in Beijing and even to New York in Paris, the goal of a successful life is to pursue the homesickness of greater, farther and more geographical tension. However, if all the people who deeply miss the old crooked neck of the village are really back home, Ji'nan is really clean and quiet. At least, in the winter, it is likely to be closer to the cradle of Lao She's cradle.
this kind of resentment and homesickness, in the end, is the small tail of an old day in our life, the occasional reversion of the emotional memory, although it has fallen into the household but has not yet fallen into Ji'nan. To be a tourist, you can experience a sense of experience, using a building, a street, a landscape, a meal of delicious food. Using a piece of memory fragments is enough to get into it, and enough to take it away, but we are not tourists, but we need to get along with it year after year. In his "Irish diary", Burr's "Irish diary" gives an immigrant quick approach to local customs, which is to take out the pocket to consume, to change material by money, to take the money with his own body temperature, to replace his own body and into the circulation of the interior of the residential city. But we make it here and spend it here - it's so much like a moment of no mark.
fortunately, when the autumn wind blows and the weather gets cool, Ji'nan has a little change in a few times, as many levels as the temperature difference between the morning and the evening. For example, the flood of Baotu Spring occurred in autumn. The water surged out of the Ji'nan abdomen and began to be infrequent, with a layer of vapour, and the air in the pool had a slight wave of wave, like a dream, a visually touchable surreal. Before that, we know that there are many ground water that has been tried to re import into the underground, and then flow back to the front according to the designed route. For more than three years, Baotu Spring is like a pot of broth cooked in a pot of fire, rolling out a layer of shallow ripples, wave to the side of the pool, also provoke the curiosity of the world. But how much manpower, material and financial resources does a big city have to maintain and maintain this pot of clear soup? Ji'nan is bound by its lifeline and spirituality in this Wangqing pool. Once in a while, talking to the friends of Ji'nan all the places of interest, everyone did not feel anything to do with themselves, not to remember how long had not traveled to Daming Lake, did not go to Qianfo Hill, did not see the Baotu Spring. Some people say that in this way, 9 to 5 years of life, for a city, probably no special two.
perhaps, this place in Ji'nan needs to wait until it leaves it before it can see that it is different from others. It is just like the old style of the old style of love. The previous bite of the back teeth of the old half of the old hate claimed to love Ji'nan, and to this moment, but the real doubt that Lao she wrote the fall and winter of Ji'nan, I probably know that he will not stay in Ji'nan for a long time. (finish)